Movie #151 Prince of Persia *2010*

The things a parent will do for their children...

I finally broke the chains and canceled my cable.  300 channels and I ever watched was TCM and a little ESPN.  Now I am totally reliant on Netflix for my viewing habits.  This news did not go over so well with my kids though.  They have a lot of concern that they won't be able to watch iCarly.  Even though when they come over to the house every episode that they watch they have seen dozens of times.

So I offered them an olive branch and I let them put a few movies on my queue today.  I also allowed them to pick a movie for us to watch after diner.  They decided on Disney's Prince of Persia (The Sands of Time).  This is a film based off a video game.  I am not much of a gamer, but I could tell which scenes in the movie were directly ripped off from the game.

The first thing I noticed was how horrible the action scenes were.  For an action scene to be effective, we (the viewer) needs to know where we are in relation to the action.  For example:  The French Connection.  One of the most famous (and in my opinion over-rated) car chase scenes in history.  The camera moves from inside the chase car, to looking out the back of the lead car at the chase car.  Then a wide shot to see both cars run an intersection.  Then back inside the chase car except this time we are looking at the determination in Popeye Doyle's face.  The there is a shot outside the car from a camera mounted as close to the pavement as possible.  All this provides a spacial relation between the cars in action, their surroundings, and the spectators including the audience.  A different example would be The Borne Supremacy with its claustrophobic, hand-held, in your face action shots.  That film forces you to be a part of the action.  You feel as if you are ducking punches.  That is because the production team choreographed the fight scenes in a way that the action would be fast paced, but still distinguishable in space and time.  Prince of Persia was content to abuse CGI and place the camera in ridiculous locations and absurd angles.  Then throw in a hack job of editing and I couldn't have cared less about who was fighting.

Another problem with the movie is that I didn't care who was fighting because none of the story made any sense.  Video games aren't generally known for their bravura storytelling.  Maybe that is why 90% of movies based on video games suck.  Prince of Persia tows that line.  A brief explanation of the story is: adopted son to a king unravels a plot of his uncle's to overthrow the king with the use of a mystical dagger.  The son attempts to hide the dager with the aid of a princess from a neighboring town.  Now take that story and stretch it out over two and a quarter hours and fill it with maddening exposition and every cliche in the book.

Throw in a bat shit crazy performance from Alfred Molina and a sword fighting Ben Kingsly (if you think this sounds like it might be interesting, it's not) and a wooden performance from Gemma Arterton and you have the basic ingredients.  The icing on the turd of a cake would be Jake Gyllenhaal.  An actor that I usually like and I can't wait to see him in Source Code.  But here I feel like he is totally phoning it in.  This role could have been played by any actor with decent abs.

The final problem is Disney.  I know they are a wholesome company with all the family values and blah blah blah.  I don't mind that.  Then why is there a hard-on joke in this film?  Why is it that when Gyllenhaal is trying to look at the locket the princess is wearing around her neck we get a 3-4 second cleavage shot?  Why are nameless guards being stabbed to death and maimed?  I don't mind the moral high ground, but stick to it.  You can't have you righteous cake, and eat it in the sewer.

I enjoyed writing my "3 Good Reasons" blogs and I considered continuing, but I couldn't come up with 3 reasons to watch this movie. I give Price of Persia ★★.  Check out the Trailer Park to see for yourself.

Movie #80 TRON Legacy (2010)

The Dude in your computer.

Unfortunately that my about the only thing that I ended up enjoying from the new TRON movie.  Jeff Bridges revised his role from the original film as Kevin Flynn.  This time there are two of him.  The young program of him he created oh so many years ago called CLU, and the old man Flynn.  Old man Flynn is happy to see his son (Sam Flynn played stiff as a board by Garrett Hedlund) join him in the computer, but refused to do anything in order to get out. "Sam is being very un-Dude.  Bridges is playing a zen master, Buddhist, slacker in cyber space.  Several time during the movie I shouted out Lebowski quotes that seemed to "fit right in there".  I was begging to hear Bridges end every sentence with "man".  I had to keep reminding me there were little kids in the theater so I wouldn't yell out the profanities. 

I am not here to bash this movie, but it is boring.  Where Inception was a bunch of people talking about what they are going to do then doing it, TRON was a bunch of people talking about what they should do then doing nothing.  Both are boring.

Here are my Positive Points:

• The soundtrack by Daft Punk was awesome.  Possibly the best thing in the film.
• Michael Sheen as the proprietor of the bar was insanely good.  Even if the bar scene was totally stolen from the Mos Eisley Cantina in Star Wars.  Michael Sheen seemed to be doing a cabaret Ziggy Stardust.
• The effects were ok and looked good in IMAX 3-D.
• The sirens were hot.  But being Disney, not too hot.

Here are my Negative Points:

• Garrett Hedlund has less charisma than a common house plant.  He makes Hayden Christian look like Marlon Brando.  And he walks funny.
• The script.  Too much talking without saying anything.
• The pacing was way too slow.  Could have been a 90 minute film, not a 2 hour plus one.
• The action scenes were better than the first, but still needed some "umph" inserted.  They could have been much bigger.
• The story really didn't make any sense.  Maybe it did in 1982 when the first TRON came out, but I want a 21 century film in a computer.  Not jazzed up leftovers.  Which is what I felt the movie was.

I guess there are worse way to spend an afternoon and $20.  I give TRON Legacy a 2/5 stars.  Check out the Trailer Park to see for yourself.

Movie #64 TRON (The First One)

Very DOS.

That is the first though I had when I tried to explain the 1982 Disney movie TRON to him.  He is a tech geek and somehow he had never seen TRON.  I will attempt to explain TRON:  Kevin Flynn was a computer programmer and had a few programs stolen.  The man who stole them is now the head of they company they worked for and Flynn owns an arcade.  He still attempts to hack into the Master Control which is an early imaging of AI.  Allen and Laura are friends of Flynn's and they work at the company.  They come up with a plan to get Flynn into the building so he can find evidence of his wrong doing.  It all goes haywire when Flynn get sent into the actual computer and is forced to literally fight against computer programs.

This is the part of the movie everyone remembers.  It has a very blue and gray motif with lightened highlights.  There is a disc battle that is supposed to be memorable but I found it boring and silly.  There are also motorcycle chases and other action sequences that people of a certain age cherish.  The movie is supposed to show you what it looks like inside a computer.  It is very 90 degrees and boring and lifeless.  Even with humans or "users" as they are called inside the shinny box residing there.

I found this movie mind bottling.  It wasn't good.  The story is a mess.  Almost nothing in it makes much sense.  I though I was remembering it wrong so I re-watched it last week in preparation for TRON Legacy (blog to come).  My kids are excited about the new film and I thought I would give them some back story.  I ended up giving them not much of a story at all. 

I'm sure that the visuals were insane in 1982 but they look cheap now.  Keep in mind that Star Wars had been out for 6 years already and in my opinion it looks WAY better than this.  Jeff Bridges plays Flynn and he is charismatic and fun.  The rest of the cast is filled out with lesser known actors.

TRON never managed to charm me or win me over.  My kids disliked it as well.  My kids have really been showing up a lot in these blogs.  Must be the cold weather.  It felt like Disney spent all their time and money on making a special effects flagship.  Hummmm, I wonder if that will be foreshadowing of TRON Legacy?  If that is the plan that is fine, but you run the risk of exactly what happened to the film.  It looks terrible and ridiculous.  Great effects of sci-fi movies don't rely entirely on the visuals.  There needs to be a story to bond with.  That is why 2001: A Space Odyssey and Alien and Metropolis might look dated, but the are still resonate today.  I give TRON a 2/5 stars.  Check out the Trailer Park to see for yourself.